Relationship IQ?
Your Relationship IQ Report
winston, your Relationship IQ is: 134
This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Relationship IQ test.
Your Relationship IQ measures what you know about relationships compared to others. It is built off the foundation of the traditional IQ test, where 68% of people who take this test worldwide score between 85 and 115. The above chart shows where you fall on the Relationship IQ scale compared to others.
As we previously mentioned, your Relationship IQ score is determined by your general knowledge of how people should behave in relationships. But we also took a look at how you actually behave in your relationships. To get this information, we compared your responses to the Relationship IQ test questions against what experts say is the right way to have a healthy relationship.
Your test results tell us that your greatest relationship strength is expressing your intimate feelings while your weakest is accepting your partner's differences.
Your Relationship IQ Profile
1. Acceptance
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to accept your partner's differences. You scored a 7.
Some experts in the field of relationships at the University of Washington have spent their entire careers researching different aspects of what makes romantic relationships work. Combining their own examinations with data from an extensive inventory of couples' relationships, they have determined that the majority of couples in happy relationships feel that their partner respects their emotions, opinions, and ideas. These findings support the premise that for a healthy relationship to flourish, you must appreciate, and feel appreciated, by your partner — whether you know it or not. That is because appreciation comes in various forms, and those forms help build the basis of a good relationship. In short, the right way to have a relationship is to make sure you make your partner know how and why you value them, and to expect the same from them.
On the whole, it's easier to appreciate people for things you can see, things that are tangible, like someone making dinner for you or picking you up after work. Those are things you routinely acknowledge with a verbal "thank you" or even a non-verbal "thank you" such as a hug or a kiss.
What you really need to ask yourself on this dimension is if you truly accept your significant other's thoughts, values, and opinions. If you score lower than you'd like on the Acceptance scale, stop and ask yourself: Would you prefer it if everyone shared the same views as you? Or are you able to see validity in everyone's point of view, regardless of how different it is from your own? Do you just not care what others believe? People's opinions and values run the gamut from extremely conservative to extremely liberal and everything in between. Some prefer their significant other to have the same opinions and values, while others embrace the different opinions and values of their partner. The Acceptance dimension of your Relationship IQ looks at how you view differences in opinion that may come up between yourself and another person.
For the most part, you accept others for who they are and acknowledge their individual beliefs and views. But there may be times when another's views are so strange to you that you simply can't understand them. This usually occurs when you disagree on a topic that is near and dear to your heart.
There are some values that you may insist that your partner share with you, but it's okay for you to have some differences, too — so long as they're not on the biggest issues. You have a "live and let live" approach the majority of the time. But there are some viewpoints that are so important to you that you would prefer you and your partner to be on the same page. You may even feel angry with your partner when you disagree on these important issues.
You are well aware that different people have different values and you live your life according to that. But those values that you hold near and dear to your heart may present an obstacle to your relationships. When you disagree with your loved one, it may affect how the two of you connect. To remain close, try to have a conversation with your loved one about their views — but do so when you are calm and open to discussing different opinions, not just hearing yourself talk about why your views are superior. The more you disagree with a point of view, the more questions you should ask about it. That will help you gain a better perspective.
2. Communication
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to communicate with your partner. You scored a 9.
The ability to communicate well affects every aspect of your life. In order to get something, you have to be able to make your need for it known. To connect with others, you have to open up your world to them. Communication is all about how clearly you express yourself and your needs. Your skill with communication is also indicated by how well you are able to hear what others have to say, whether through words or non-verbal communication like body language. As such, communication has been studied by psychologists from many different angles. The most current research indicates that in order to have a successful relationship, partners must feel as if they are able to express their differences (Wallerstein, 2002), as well as be a good listener (Schwartz, 2002). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to be open to talking about issues as well as be willing to listen to your partner.
The Communication skills dimension looks at your expectations around communication in general, how you relate to people in your life. The degree of comfort you feel in expressing your own needs and beliefs/thoughts/opinions directly impacts your ability to relate to others on an intimate level. But communication is not a one-way street. That is why the Communication dimension also looks at how you figure out what your significant other is saying to you through words or body language.
You are quite capable of letting the people in your life know your needs and what is on your mind. You are skilled at putting your thoughts and feelings into words and conveying their meaning to those who surround you. In addition, you are very perceptive when it comes to understanding what others are trying to say to you through conversation or body language.
In your relationships, you are likely to place a good deal of emphasis on talking with and listening to your loved one. You are also able to understand your partner on a nonverbal level — you know what that look means, what words that smile is trying to convey. The more you express yourself to your significant other and the more they communicate to you, the more connected you feel. You are open to having in-depth conversations with your partner on topics ranging from your relationship to worldviews.
Your ability to clearly express how you feel and think is a great part of your relationship. It helps you and your significant other learn more about each other and deepen the intimacy of your relationship. However, there may be times when you are ready, willing, and able to sit down for that long chat and your loved one may not be up for it. When this situation arises, be willing to put the topic on hold for a better time, when the two of you can get the most out of it.
3. Conflict Resolution
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to resolve conflict with your partner. You scored a 9.
No matter how perfect the relationship, you're bound to run into conflict from time to time. So how do you handle it? Do you avoid the touchy subject? Or do you dive right into the fray and meet the challenge head on? Psychological research suggests that people who are able to bring up points of contention and come to a solution together have a relationship that is characterized by greater communication and intimacy (Canary & Cupach, 1988; Fitzpatrick & Sollie, 1999). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to address differences and points of difference.
The Conflict resolution dimension taps into how you deal with confrontation when it arises. This refers to what you think it means to have a disagreement with the significant person in your life and what you think is the best way to deal with it. In addition, the Conflict dimension assesses your understanding of resolving conflict.
You realize that conflict is a natural part of every relationship and understand how to resolve disagreements with the people in your life. That makes it easier for you to bring up even difficult topics when they need to be discussed. It also makes it easier for your loved one to come to you when they have issues they want to talk about, because they know you'll probably be open to hearing them.
You are very open to resolving matters and tend to keep your emotions in check when things have the potential to get heated. Because you have a very levelheaded approach to conflict, your significant other feels that they can bring up any issue — big or small — with you. For you, a conflict is an opportunity to discuss important issues with your loved one. When you do have an argument with your significant other, you are flexible enough to hear their side while maintaining your own view. And when it comes down to it, you are open to finding a win-win solution.
Resolving conflicts requires a willingness to confront and be confronted by a loved one on a sensitive topic, a good deal of flexibility in order to see another's point of view, and a whole lot of creativity to find a solution that works for the two of you. Keep on demonstrating all of these qualities. When something is troubling you, find the right time and place to bring it up with your loved one. Get your point across while hearing what your significant other has to say. Then you'll be able to come to an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
4. Intimacy and Sex
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to express intimate feelings with your partner. You scored a 10.
For several decades, the role that sex plays in a relationship has been studied by researchers across many different disciplines, including biology, psychology, and sociology. Experts have concluded that sex can be a way that people express emotional intimacy. They also concur that sex can be a means for a couple to build upon the closeness that they already have. In short, in order to have the right kind of relationship, you need your physical connection to further your emotional connectedness to your partner.
Sex can hold a powerful position in some relationships. It is one of the factors that differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic one. So what does sex mean for you? Is it the cornerstone of your romantic relationship? Or are there things that are more significant? The Sex and Intimacy dimension looks at the role sex plays in your relationship, particularly how important or unimportant sex is for you.
Sex has a couple different components to it: how you approach sex in your relationship and how much you generally know about sex. Here's what we can tell you about how sex affects your personal relationships.
Sex can be very important for you. Being able to touch and be touched is key in your relationship. You're probably likely to have more physical contact with people in general, whether touching someone's arm when they're telling a story or hugging friends when you say hello or goodbye. You can be a very physical person, in the sense that you feel connected to another person through bodily contact.
In a romantic relationship, you require a good deal of physical contact. It is unlikely that you would enjoy being in a long-distance relationship because your contact would be limited by geographic distance. You show acceptance of your significant other through touch and feel accepted by your partner when they touch you. It may feel as if your happiness in a relationship is dependent upon your physical relationship. If your partner refuses your physical advances, you may assume that this is a tacit rejection of your love. It might be a good idea to develop some other aspects of your relationship, too, so you can be sure to strike a balance that will only deepen your intimacy.
Your Relationship Role
Beyond your scores on the Relationship IQ dimensions, beyond your general knowledge about relationships, we can also infer from your answers on the test, the way you are in a relationship.
You, it turns out, are a Supporter in relationships.
Your passion for life runs through every aspect of your relationship. You are more than a significant other to your significant other. You are their best friend. Relationships are very important to you, and you'll do anything to help out your partner. You're there for them and are willing to pitch in wherever they need help — whether it's cooking a nice meal when they're tired, or helping them with a problem they don't even know they have yet. They can count on you for just about anything and that's what helps make your relationships so strong.
You're incredibly supportive of your partner's dreams and ambitions. Your ability to pay attention to their hopes and desires helps them as they define their goals. And they probably come to rely on that. You're also not afraid to roll up your sleeves and help further their causes — whether canvassing neighborhoods with election posters for your sweetie, showing up for a work function, or taking care of their chores around the house. You're also someone who's probably willing to put aside your hopes and dreams for your partner's. Your kind and giving soul is energized when you see that your support has helped your partner reach their dreams.
But even people as supportive as you get into arguments with their partners. When you do, you may find yourself agreeing with your partner so the discussion will end amicably. It's not that your views have necessarily changed, but you may behave as if they have just to keep the peace. It takes a lot for you to have a spat, but it doesn't take long to kiss and make up. In fact, that's the easiest part of a disagreement for you.
Your playful sexual nature shines through both in and outside the bedroom. Your feelings during sex are important to you, and the art of lovemaking takes the front seat in your relationship. Physical intimacy makes you feel accepted by your lover, and lets you communicate how powerful your emotions are.
You want the same thing that you give to your partner: complete and utter acceptance. You accept your loved one unconditionally, and you want to experience that feeling yourself. Leave the emotional highs and lows for the big screen — you don't want someone who plays games. You appreciate a partner who knows what they want and like, and who is caring and open to you. It's important for you to connect with your partner during sex. You need to feel a bond with your lover, and physical intimacy allows you to express how deep your feelings run.
Your kind and gentle nature can sometimes put you at risk. Some people might find it easy to take advantage of you, and that could make for some uncomfortable situations. Since you're so easygoing, you tend to put on a happy face even when you're upset inside. You'll put up with the conditions, but deep down you're irritated that your significant other has failed to understand you.
winston, your Relationship IQ is: 134
This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Relationship IQ test.
Your Relationship IQ measures what you know about relationships compared to others. It is built off the foundation of the traditional IQ test, where 68% of people who take this test worldwide score between 85 and 115. The above chart shows where you fall on the Relationship IQ scale compared to others.
As we previously mentioned, your Relationship IQ score is determined by your general knowledge of how people should behave in relationships. But we also took a look at how you actually behave in your relationships. To get this information, we compared your responses to the Relationship IQ test questions against what experts say is the right way to have a healthy relationship.
Your test results tell us that your greatest relationship strength is expressing your intimate feelings while your weakest is accepting your partner's differences.
Your Relationship IQ Profile
1. Acceptance
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to accept your partner's differences. You scored a 7.
Some experts in the field of relationships at the University of Washington have spent their entire careers researching different aspects of what makes romantic relationships work. Combining their own examinations with data from an extensive inventory of couples' relationships, they have determined that the majority of couples in happy relationships feel that their partner respects their emotions, opinions, and ideas. These findings support the premise that for a healthy relationship to flourish, you must appreciate, and feel appreciated, by your partner — whether you know it or not. That is because appreciation comes in various forms, and those forms help build the basis of a good relationship. In short, the right way to have a relationship is to make sure you make your partner know how and why you value them, and to expect the same from them.
On the whole, it's easier to appreciate people for things you can see, things that are tangible, like someone making dinner for you or picking you up after work. Those are things you routinely acknowledge with a verbal "thank you" or even a non-verbal "thank you" such as a hug or a kiss.
What you really need to ask yourself on this dimension is if you truly accept your significant other's thoughts, values, and opinions. If you score lower than you'd like on the Acceptance scale, stop and ask yourself: Would you prefer it if everyone shared the same views as you? Or are you able to see validity in everyone's point of view, regardless of how different it is from your own? Do you just not care what others believe? People's opinions and values run the gamut from extremely conservative to extremely liberal and everything in between. Some prefer their significant other to have the same opinions and values, while others embrace the different opinions and values of their partner. The Acceptance dimension of your Relationship IQ looks at how you view differences in opinion that may come up between yourself and another person.
For the most part, you accept others for who they are and acknowledge their individual beliefs and views. But there may be times when another's views are so strange to you that you simply can't understand them. This usually occurs when you disagree on a topic that is near and dear to your heart.
There are some values that you may insist that your partner share with you, but it's okay for you to have some differences, too — so long as they're not on the biggest issues. You have a "live and let live" approach the majority of the time. But there are some viewpoints that are so important to you that you would prefer you and your partner to be on the same page. You may even feel angry with your partner when you disagree on these important issues.
You are well aware that different people have different values and you live your life according to that. But those values that you hold near and dear to your heart may present an obstacle to your relationships. When you disagree with your loved one, it may affect how the two of you connect. To remain close, try to have a conversation with your loved one about their views — but do so when you are calm and open to discussing different opinions, not just hearing yourself talk about why your views are superior. The more you disagree with a point of view, the more questions you should ask about it. That will help you gain a better perspective.
2. Communication
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to communicate with your partner. You scored a 9.
The ability to communicate well affects every aspect of your life. In order to get something, you have to be able to make your need for it known. To connect with others, you have to open up your world to them. Communication is all about how clearly you express yourself and your needs. Your skill with communication is also indicated by how well you are able to hear what others have to say, whether through words or non-verbal communication like body language. As such, communication has been studied by psychologists from many different angles. The most current research indicates that in order to have a successful relationship, partners must feel as if they are able to express their differences (Wallerstein, 2002), as well as be a good listener (Schwartz, 2002). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to be open to talking about issues as well as be willing to listen to your partner.
The Communication skills dimension looks at your expectations around communication in general, how you relate to people in your life. The degree of comfort you feel in expressing your own needs and beliefs/thoughts/opinions directly impacts your ability to relate to others on an intimate level. But communication is not a one-way street. That is why the Communication dimension also looks at how you figure out what your significant other is saying to you through words or body language.
You are quite capable of letting the people in your life know your needs and what is on your mind. You are skilled at putting your thoughts and feelings into words and conveying their meaning to those who surround you. In addition, you are very perceptive when it comes to understanding what others are trying to say to you through conversation or body language.
In your relationships, you are likely to place a good deal of emphasis on talking with and listening to your loved one. You are also able to understand your partner on a nonverbal level — you know what that look means, what words that smile is trying to convey. The more you express yourself to your significant other and the more they communicate to you, the more connected you feel. You are open to having in-depth conversations with your partner on topics ranging from your relationship to worldviews.
Your ability to clearly express how you feel and think is a great part of your relationship. It helps you and your significant other learn more about each other and deepen the intimacy of your relationship. However, there may be times when you are ready, willing, and able to sit down for that long chat and your loved one may not be up for it. When this situation arises, be willing to put the topic on hold for a better time, when the two of you can get the most out of it.
3. Conflict Resolution
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to resolve conflict with your partner. You scored a 9.
No matter how perfect the relationship, you're bound to run into conflict from time to time. So how do you handle it? Do you avoid the touchy subject? Or do you dive right into the fray and meet the challenge head on? Psychological research suggests that people who are able to bring up points of contention and come to a solution together have a relationship that is characterized by greater communication and intimacy (Canary & Cupach, 1988; Fitzpatrick & Sollie, 1999). In short, the right way to have a relationship is to address differences and points of difference.
The Conflict resolution dimension taps into how you deal with confrontation when it arises. This refers to what you think it means to have a disagreement with the significant person in your life and what you think is the best way to deal with it. In addition, the Conflict dimension assesses your understanding of resolving conflict.
You realize that conflict is a natural part of every relationship and understand how to resolve disagreements with the people in your life. That makes it easier for you to bring up even difficult topics when they need to be discussed. It also makes it easier for your loved one to come to you when they have issues they want to talk about, because they know you'll probably be open to hearing them.
You are very open to resolving matters and tend to keep your emotions in check when things have the potential to get heated. Because you have a very levelheaded approach to conflict, your significant other feels that they can bring up any issue — big or small — with you. For you, a conflict is an opportunity to discuss important issues with your loved one. When you do have an argument with your significant other, you are flexible enough to hear their side while maintaining your own view. And when it comes down to it, you are open to finding a win-win solution.
Resolving conflicts requires a willingness to confront and be confronted by a loved one on a sensitive topic, a good deal of flexibility in order to see another's point of view, and a whole lot of creativity to find a solution that works for the two of you. Keep on demonstrating all of these qualities. When something is troubling you, find the right time and place to bring it up with your loved one. Get your point across while hearing what your significant other has to say. Then you'll be able to come to an agreement that is mutually acceptable.
4. Intimacy and Sex
On this scale, a score of 10 represents what the experts say is the right way to express intimate feelings with your partner. You scored a 10.
For several decades, the role that sex plays in a relationship has been studied by researchers across many different disciplines, including biology, psychology, and sociology. Experts have concluded that sex can be a way that people express emotional intimacy. They also concur that sex can be a means for a couple to build upon the closeness that they already have. In short, in order to have the right kind of relationship, you need your physical connection to further your emotional connectedness to your partner.
Sex can hold a powerful position in some relationships. It is one of the factors that differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic one. So what does sex mean for you? Is it the cornerstone of your romantic relationship? Or are there things that are more significant? The Sex and Intimacy dimension looks at the role sex plays in your relationship, particularly how important or unimportant sex is for you.
Sex has a couple different components to it: how you approach sex in your relationship and how much you generally know about sex. Here's what we can tell you about how sex affects your personal relationships.
Sex can be very important for you. Being able to touch and be touched is key in your relationship. You're probably likely to have more physical contact with people in general, whether touching someone's arm when they're telling a story or hugging friends when you say hello or goodbye. You can be a very physical person, in the sense that you feel connected to another person through bodily contact.
In a romantic relationship, you require a good deal of physical contact. It is unlikely that you would enjoy being in a long-distance relationship because your contact would be limited by geographic distance. You show acceptance of your significant other through touch and feel accepted by your partner when they touch you. It may feel as if your happiness in a relationship is dependent upon your physical relationship. If your partner refuses your physical advances, you may assume that this is a tacit rejection of your love. It might be a good idea to develop some other aspects of your relationship, too, so you can be sure to strike a balance that will only deepen your intimacy.
Your Relationship Role
Beyond your scores on the Relationship IQ dimensions, beyond your general knowledge about relationships, we can also infer from your answers on the test, the way you are in a relationship.
You, it turns out, are a Supporter in relationships.
Your passion for life runs through every aspect of your relationship. You are more than a significant other to your significant other. You are their best friend. Relationships are very important to you, and you'll do anything to help out your partner. You're there for them and are willing to pitch in wherever they need help — whether it's cooking a nice meal when they're tired, or helping them with a problem they don't even know they have yet. They can count on you for just about anything and that's what helps make your relationships so strong.
You're incredibly supportive of your partner's dreams and ambitions. Your ability to pay attention to their hopes and desires helps them as they define their goals. And they probably come to rely on that. You're also not afraid to roll up your sleeves and help further their causes — whether canvassing neighborhoods with election posters for your sweetie, showing up for a work function, or taking care of their chores around the house. You're also someone who's probably willing to put aside your hopes and dreams for your partner's. Your kind and giving soul is energized when you see that your support has helped your partner reach their dreams.
But even people as supportive as you get into arguments with their partners. When you do, you may find yourself agreeing with your partner so the discussion will end amicably. It's not that your views have necessarily changed, but you may behave as if they have just to keep the peace. It takes a lot for you to have a spat, but it doesn't take long to kiss and make up. In fact, that's the easiest part of a disagreement for you.
Your playful sexual nature shines through both in and outside the bedroom. Your feelings during sex are important to you, and the art of lovemaking takes the front seat in your relationship. Physical intimacy makes you feel accepted by your lover, and lets you communicate how powerful your emotions are.
You want the same thing that you give to your partner: complete and utter acceptance. You accept your loved one unconditionally, and you want to experience that feeling yourself. Leave the emotional highs and lows for the big screen — you don't want someone who plays games. You appreciate a partner who knows what they want and like, and who is caring and open to you. It's important for you to connect with your partner during sex. You need to feel a bond with your lover, and physical intimacy allows you to express how deep your feelings run.
Your kind and gentle nature can sometimes put you at risk. Some people might find it easy to take advantage of you, and that could make for some uncomfortable situations. Since you're so easygoing, you tend to put on a happy face even when you're upset inside. You'll put up with the conditions, but deep down you're irritated that your significant other has failed to understand you.
posted by notsniw at 5:34 AM
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