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Just a note

2008-12-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

Although I'm using Blogger to publish my bloggie, non-Blogspot people can comment too. Using "Other" as your "Identity", you will then be given options to type your nick =)

Old Already...

2008-11-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

Last week was quite a hectic week, with three programmes which I'm involved with running at the same time as well as a few parent-teacher meetings. That aside, I think I'm really growing old le. Why did I have such a revelation? Well, I have two pieces of evidence to support my claim...

Firstly, I was involved with the Peer Support Leader (PSL) Camp last week at Labrador Adventure Centre and I went over after school to join three of my colleagues who were running the camp. There were a few pesky small flies (not rubbish bin flies... not fruit flies either... just tiny flies which like to hover over heads) which hovered over my head. One of my colleague noticed that and told me about it... but not only did my colleague notice the flies, she noticed that I had white hair. Not just one, but at least three strands. 晴天霹雳... I never had white hair... well, at least not until I started teaching >.<" And so... I was standing in the open with two female colleagues scrutinising my hair like they were catching head lice.

Secondly, we were turning in for the night on the second day of the camp and I went to turn off the lights. Guess what, I couldn't see a thing after that and it took quite some time before my eyes became accustomed to the darkness. My night-blindness was not this bad the last time I noticed.

Haiz, 真的老了...

A quick entry for October

2008-10-20T23:40:00.002+08:00

Almost six weeks has passed since I last posted something.

The exams are over... and it will soon be the end of the school year. However, work carries on as usual for me, with probably a short break in December after my reservist.

Looking back, I guessed I've really come a long way, to have completed a full year in school. Not easy I would say, judging from the nightmares and worries that I've had. I should probably make a record of this particular nightmare that I had.

It goes like this... I was invigilating a class for the end of year examinations, not a class that I would normally invigilate, since we always invigilate our form classes. Anyway, the students refused to behave like how they should during an exam and I had to constantly remind them to stop talking, turning to face their friends etc. There came a point when all the reminding... and later, shouting didn't work, that I banged my head against the whiteboard or door out of frustration and ran out of the room crying... end of nightmare.

But teaching isn't as bad as the nightmare depicted... and I wouldn't lose my composure and run out of class crying. I do hope that I have made a positive difference to the students whose paths have crossed mine, because they have made a difference to me, whether I show it or not.

On another note... was quite bothered after my work review last week, but am feeling better now. Perhaps I will one day learn the true meaning of what teaching is about... and be comfortable and empowered to take on whatever challenges tomorrow holds.

Sept 2008

2008-09-06T13:30:00.003+08:00

The September school holidays came and went in a flash. Other than having the luxury of time to sleep in in the mornings, life has been the same for me. School still took up most of my day time. Been going back to school from Tuesday to Friday. Some students would turn up in school to look for me occasionally, most of the time asking me about subjects which I do not teach but still am comfortable with.

Managed to get some work done... but not as much as I hoped to achieve. School is starting again on Monday... the last lap of the year. Must perservere on =]

Google Chrome

2008-09-04T09:10:00.002+08:00

Downloaded Google Chrome last night and am quite satisfied with its no-frills design and functionalities. Will use it at work because of its supposed better memory management... because my office laptop complains about low memory when all I have opened is two IE window and Windows Messenger >.<" The laptop has 1GB of RAM... and runs like a snail.

On another note, I thoroughly enjoyed the Teachers' Day dinner at Marriot despite having to work during the dinner. The weekend staff trip to Batam wasn't too bad either, except for the fact that the agency didn't book the return tickets for the ferry in advance and we were stuck in Batam for four hours before returning to Singapore on Sunday night.

The Electric New Paper

2008-08-28T23:29:00.002+08:00

Now, I shall wonder how long I can keep playing and dreaming. See paragraphs highlighted in red below.

Extracted from "The Electric New Paper", August 28, 2008

THE COMING-OF-AGE TEXTBOOK

Your life is over. Now, just live. That's what lawyer Adrian Tan, who wrote the popular '80s novel The Teenage Textbook, told students at a convocation at NTU recently. Here are some excerpts:
August 28, 2008

YOU may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy.

We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino.

It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup.

Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap. That's why our life expectancies are so long.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom...

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it...

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today...

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

DO NOT WORK

THE most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills.

The Japanese have a term 'karoshi', which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill.

But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. Or people who are employed to do something morally distasteful, or even plain criminal.

Such people justify their actions by telling you they are 'making a living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful...

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself...

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. Wake up and know exactly what you want to do and why you want to do it.

If you don't, you are working.

BE WARY OF THE TRUTH

MOST of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth.

I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things.

The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth.

Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

BE HATED

IT'S not as easy as it sounds.

Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many.

That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions.

It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role.

There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself.

Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

FALL IN LOVE

THE other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false.

Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings.

It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way...

Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming...

You will find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Woah...

2008-08-19T22:35:00.002+08:00

I shall not sleep early in future...

Why? Because I woke up in the middle of the night and all I could think about was how to manage students who misbehave >.<" It was around 3.05am when I woke... and I tossed and turned on my bed, thinking of how to get students to hand in work, how to rearrange the class seating arrangement so that I can minimise the amount of talking during lesson etc. I couldn't get back to sleep... until about 3.45am, after I forced myself to not think about anything.

Scary.

Ich bin müde

2008-08-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.

The love for teaching... can be killed by students who are totally unappreciative of what is done for them.

Students who do not listen, despite everyday reminders for tests and going through examples after examples during lessons.
Students who do not do homework, despite chasing them for work.
Students who do not behave, despite them knowing that they should.
Students who do not study, despite detailed notes being printed for them.
Students who do not care at all, because life to them is all about playing and having fun.

Perhaps one day they will understand.

Teaching has always been my dream. I wonder how long I can keep dreaming.

Breathless. Nope, not The Corrs

2008-07-22T23:21:00.002+08:00

Hectic week... almost breathless liao.

Monday and Tuesday: 'N' levels oral time-keeping (after school)
Wednesday and Thursday: NCC Part A Camp Feast (full day)
Friday: Course (after school)
Saturday: Sec 2 Subject Briefing (morning)

Not forgetting the normal lessons and other administrative stuff to do.

Of Facebook and Friends

2008-07-07T13:30:00.002+08:00

Was feeling bored and decided to view the ever-laggy Facebook to change my message.

Remembered that I added this application that allowed me to generate a "friends web" sort of thing and decided to regenerate it.

Basically, I realised that my friends (those who own a Facebook account) fall into 6 groups: secondary school friends, online friends, JC friends, random friends, university friends and colleagues.

Nothing remotely exciting... just an observation =]

It's July!

2008-07-05T13:15:00.002+08:00

The CIP trip to Cambodia was an enjoyable one. Will not mention the details, since that would take too long. Angkor Wat was impressive when seen from far. The restorative works would have had a greater impact if done at a faster rate. It seems to me that the rate of restoring Angkor Wat is almost the same as the rate of its decay. Didn't buy many things physical, but brought back lots of memories =]

The June holidays came and went. How time flew... Ha. I did manage to sleep in more during the last few days of the holidays. Managed to get some work done too, which was good considering that the past two weeks of school was totally hectic, with the first week spent on meetings on a daily basis. Week 2 was not as bad, but not much marking was done. Week 3 is expected to be busy too, considering that I have an essay due on 11 July 2008, from a Special Needs course that I attended in late May.

Nothing impressive going on in my life. Will be attending two or three weddings/ROMs this month though... big hole burnt in pocket :P

Siem Reap, Cambodia - 3 June 2008 to 8 June 2008

2008-06-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

I'll be away in Cambodia on a Service Learning trip from 3rd - 8th June 2008... just in case anyone wondered why I'm not online during the school holidays.

I'll need to be in school at 8pm tomorrow and guess what? I haven't packed >.<" I'll probably do so if I can wake early tomorrow morning, before heading to school at 6.30am to meet a parent at 7am. I hope she remembers the appointment this time. I took a cab to school last Friday to supposedly meet her at 7.30am and she didn't turn up because it had totally slipped her mind.

Down with quite a bad sore throat... saw the doctor this morning. I hope I'm 75% "recovered" by the time I leave in the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

A costly trip to the doctor's

2008-05-28T22:54:00.002+08:00

In preparation for the trip to Cambodia, I went down to the doctor's yesterday evening to get the necessary immunisations.

At a total cost of SGD100, I got for myself three injections... tetanus, typhoid and flu, as well as malaria pills that will have to be taken for 1.5 months, one tablet per week. >.<"

There should really be subsidies for money spent prior to school-related trips... :P

Now my arms are aching from the injections. Zzz

It's a dog's life

2008-05-25T22:19:00.002+08:00

Although the June holidays have begun, I don't see that I'll get much rest... in fact, I'm busier than ever... at least for the next two weeks. *dies*

Week 1 of 4
Monday: On Course (8.30am - 5.30pm), followed by tuition (8pm - 10pm)
Tuesday: On Course (8.30am - 5.30pm), followed by go see doctor
Wednesday: On Course (8.30am - 5.30pm)
Thursday: Maths Conference (8.30am - 5.30pm)
Friday: Meeting Parents (7.30am - 1pm), followed by packing of Logistics for Cambodia Service Learning Trip

Things to be done...
- Cut hair
- Go see doc for vaccination and malaria pills
- Pack for Cambodia SL Trip

Week 2 of 4
Monday: Sleepover at 9pm for Cambodia Service Learning Trip
Tuesday: Cambodia
Wednesday: Cambodia
Thursday: Cambodia
Friday: Cambodia

Your Free Day, 22nd May 2008

2008-05-25T21:25:00.003+08:00

It was a pleasant day out with students from my form class.

Breakfast followed by movie at Plaza Singapura. Breakfast was at McDonald's, and I had an Egg McMuffin meal.

The movie was a treat from my co-form and I and from the looks of it, I guess most of them enjoyed themselves. "Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skulls" was an adventure movie... and I thought that the plot was good, a movie worth watching.

The class took some photographs just before the movie. I do not have the photographs yet though, so I won't post them up for the time being. My first time looking at a strip of 30 movie tickets... a length almost equivalent to my height.

It was back to school to get some work done before heading over to my cousin's place for tuition.

The Singapore Flyer

2008-05-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

In the midst of marking the mid year examination papers, it dawned on me that I have not written about a learning journey to The Singapore Flyer. Well, not that it was exceptionally exciting... but it was a learning experience nonetheless. I'll not write about what The Singapore Flyer was about and what I saw while I was in the capsules. Rather, there was this query that I had... how did they build The Singapore Flyer, given that it was built by piecing together different sections of the wheel from the bottom? The information given in the booklet from The Singapore Flyer was not sufficient for me to deduce anything useful. Oh well.

So much to do... so little time.

Another year older...

2008-05-06T22:30:00.002+08:00

It's the time of the year again... when I'm reminded of my age. One year older... and hopefully one year wiser.

As always, my birthday is a quiet affair (except for last year when a whole class celebrated it with lots of noise).

This year, my form class made lots of noise too... after they discovered it was my birthday... and made me blow out the candles of a drawn cake on the whiteboard >.<" They wanted me to make a wish... and I did... that my form class will behave themselves well and be nice students to all teachers =] Well, I'll see if the wish comes true.

My colleagues bought a Crumpler haversack for me... so nice of them. Although I really didn't want them to spend this kind of money :/ Another colleague got her mum to bake a cheesecake for me, knowing that I like cheesecakes. So nice of her too... going through such an extent to make this birthday a special one.

We had our staff photo-taking yesterday afternoon and those around me were teasing me during the informal shot. I'll have to wait for the photos to be out before I know what they did, especially the two who were standing behind me... Tsk tsk.

Dinner was at Vivocity Marche... and I had a Roesti with Chicken Cheese Sausage and a bottle of Apple and Pear Fruit Juice. Self-paid though, but with nice company =]

Went home... and another cheesecake was waiting for me. Two cheesecakes in a day... ultimate indulgence. Ha. I think this year's birthday also broke the record for the most number of times I've heard the birthday song being sung. And so that marked the end of a blissful day =]

Of March and April Past

2008-05-02T21:53:00.002+08:00

Time does fly, even if one is not having fun.

The months of March and April have gone past in a flash, but without many events taking place, many of which I have already forgotten by now.

One highlight for the month of March would probably be the Term 2 Week 2 activities. I was attached to the Sec 2 Camp and was at the Labrador Adventure Centre for five days, facilitating two camps for the students. I personally enjoyed the second camp more... because the students were from classes that I am teaching or have taught before. Another reason was because we were all more prepared too, after going through the first camp. It was a tiring one week and I tried dragon-boating for the first time in my life.

The month of April was sheer mental torture, with so much to teach and so little time before the mid-year examinations. Days were spent churning out notes, worksheets and class tests... with the accompanying backlash of marking. I was tasked to set two papers for the impending major examinations... and am quite happy with my masterpieces :P

The month of May marks the beginning of the examinations... and prior to that, a preceding week of inhumane revision (ahem... inhumane for the teachers, not for the students). And now, one will reap what one has sowed over the past 17 weeks of Term 1 and 2. Hard work will eventually pay off... and those who depend on luck will eventually lose out.

A pleasant weekend to all...

And so... May is here

2008-05-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

Haven't been writing anything for months...

Much has happened though... just that I can't seem to find the time, energy and need to write things down.

The past few months have been hectic, especially at work. With so much going on, there's barely time to take any breaks and get a breather. Will need to find means to slow down and appreciate life for what it is.

Will update over the weekend if I'm not in the mood for procrastination.

Drained...

2008-02-29T01:58:00.002+08:00

It has been a long day... and a long week. I'm glad that the weekend is coming soon, although there's work to be done. Was filled with warmth when I entered my room after returning home from tutoring my cousin. My mum modified one of those door tags with advertisement that hang on the handrails of buses and pasted a piece of paper with the following words on it: FRIDAY Casual Wear. Ha... that was because I forgot about it last Friday. Quite an ingenious way of reminding me, probably sparked by the fact that she'll be asleep by the time I got home. One of my colleagues SMSed me to remind me about it too. Heh.

Anyway, back to the day... well, had an observation by my senior teacher. The comments weren't really positive, but as I've mentioned in the previous posts, I will persevere on and save the starfish. Perhaps I worry too much... and got bogged down by all the negativity. "One who sees more problems than solutions will not be able to solve the problems". I want my positivity back. Ha... and perhaps then I'll be happier in school =]

I spent more than a decade of my life as a pessimistic being. It was not until I went for National Service that I become an optimistic person. Currently, I think I'm having a relapse... but I do hope the pessimism will go away soon. Being optimistic helps a lot in life, especially when everything doesn't seem right.

Oh yar... brought the Part A NCC boys down to HQ on Wednesday to get their new uniforms... quite an experience for me, since it's the first time I'm doing it.

myFLASHbox.sg Downtime...

2008-02-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

myFLASHbox.sg was down from about 1:00 am to 9:00 pm today... It was probably a routine server check which upset a setting on the server. I thought that the problem would be resolved by just getting my webhost to do a check on the server, however, the server was fixed at about 7:00 am, but the setting was not... Thus I was pleasantly surprised when I reached home after dinner with a colleague to see that there were about 25 comments on the website and close to 30 emails in my inbox.

So as usual, when such emergencies happen, I would just throw whatever work commitments aside and attempt to fix the problem. It was rectified within 10 minutes... however, I have half the mind to shut the website down, mainly because I seriously do not have the time and energy should such an event happen again. I wouldn't want to provide "lousy service" even though it is free.

Will see how it goes...

Meanwhile, I'm feeling better about school. 看开了... 如果我已尽了力, 做了在我的能力范围之内所能做的, 那就应该足够了吧. For whatever is to come, nothing will stop me from saving starfish.

Saving Starfish

2008-02-19T22:52:00.001+08:00

A man was walking on the beach saw that it was littered with thousands of starfish. A little boy was picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them into the ocean. He asked the boy, "What are you doing?" The boy replied, "I'm throwing starfish back into the water. If I leave them here they'll dry up and die." The man said, "But look how many starfish there are. What you're doing can't possibly make a difference." As the boy picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean he said, "Well, it makes a difference to this one!"

In the face of certain unmotivated students who seem to not bother whether they pass or fail, perhaps saving one starfish at a time is good enough. God helps those who help themselves. Who's going to help those who help others? I believe that I have the passion to want to educate the young. Please do not prove me wrong...

There are some things in life to smile about

2008-02-18T00:08:00.003+08:00

As much as I am freaking pissed off with the behaviour and attitude of some students in school, there are still things to smile about because I do have students who put in effort and try their best even though they might not be able to do well.

"Only you can help yourself"... That is a phrase which I find true to the very last word. No matter how much I can try to help, eventually it is up to the students. If they cannot be bothered at all, there is nothing I can do... and by nothing, I really mean nothing. One cannot force a horse to drink from a stream if the horse does not want to drink. If you push the horse's head into the water, it will probably drown.

On a lighter note, it was an enjoyable staff recreational event at Safra Mount Faber on Friday... a Lou Hei + Bowling Tournament for the teachers. I was lucky I think... managed to win the team trophy as well as the individual male trophy. Funny that I never got to win anything when I was a student, but as a teacher, I have better luck. Ha

Let's hope that the following week will be a better one for all =]

Lunar New Year 2008

2008-02-10T02:24:00.000+08:00

Week 6 of Term 1 is almost over... and the Lunar New Year break is almost over as well.

The last few weeks have been grueling... well, not really a word that I would use to describe teaching. But well, yea... you get the idea. It's a war out there and only a person in the same predicament would understand my plight.

I used to smile a lot in school, but not anymore.

Oh yar... Happy Lunar New Year...

Term 1 Week 1

2008-01-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

Well, three days in school seems like forever... and it's only one official day of teaching >.<

As mentioned in previous entries, I've got more to do this year... and it's the first time I'm having a full school year ahead for me. The first few days in school were rather hectic, with quite a bit of administative stuff to settle. I'm glad that most of the administrative baggage has been cleared. It's now time to concentrate on the teaching.

I've got quite a number of preparations every week... it's one preparation for one class and I've got four classes, not including CME, IPW etc. I think it'll be a super hectic year ahead. As some of my colleagues have mentioned... I will take things one step at a time. I'm still rather new to the job and there are many things for me to learn and get used to. I believe that I will be able to manage =]

If I can survive next week, I think I will be able to survive the rest of the year. Heh